So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
