Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
