your parents love me but you hate me
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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