508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
