There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
