I'm gonna have a badass scar
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
