wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Randomize
