Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
