It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
