To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
