You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
