Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
