I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
