Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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