I wish my penis had an off switch
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Ladies don't puke and tell
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
