don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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