I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
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