I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
