Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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