maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
