I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Panties = found
Randomize
