Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
