Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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