covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize