it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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