wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
