I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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