...so i touched it.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
