She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
