he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
