like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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