And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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