Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Text me some of your sweat
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