Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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