I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
