it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
