I will die if light touches me.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
