What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
