How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
The adults are the big ones right?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
