Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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