Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
