I wish life had little blips of pornography
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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