But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
