He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
