She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
