And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just high enough for therapy.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
