the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize