Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
