We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
