Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
