My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
