Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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