The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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